In my daily life, the things I find most rewarding, as well
as sometimes the most frustrating, are finding every way I can to help my kids
live the best lives they can. By “best” I mean getting enjoyment like all kids should,
but also fulfillment and development and learning, so they can grow into happy,
productive adults.
This is a challenging task and a full time job. Not
only are they 8 years apart, so at very different stages of life, but they both
have Autism Spectrum Disorders and Sensory Processing Disorder. But the
similarities stop there. My 10 year old has Aspergers and is very bright, has
the vocabulary of an adult, reads well beyond his age level, and faster than
me. He’s also a sensory avoider, and over-sensitive to just about every
sensation. My 2 ½ year old has PDD-NOS, with mainly communication and
developmental delays, so he barely speaks at all, and behaves more on level
with an 18 month old, except for his activity level. He is also a sensory
seeker in almost every area, except for feeding. He has serious food aversions
because of his other sensory seeking needs. So one kid talks non-stop, and
freaks out at loud noises, smells, crowds, etc. and the other talks very little
and makes lots of noise and loves rough housing.
The task is also challenging because Aspergers was only in
the DSM-IV (Diagnostic Statistical Manual version 4, basically the Bible for psychologists/psychiatrists) as of 1994, so research and information are still scant. PDD-NOS
likewise is such a broad category and is used in so many different ways (like a
temporary diagnosis, or a catchall for kids who don’t fit Autism fully) that
there is not enough specific information. Sensory Processing Disorder is an
even newer field of research (only the last 15 years or so has it been more fully recognized) and many doctors and professionals still don’t
know much about the science behind it. So information is not easy to find, nor are resources, at
least anywhere not near a rather large city (I live near Salt Lake City, which
is a SMALL city) where there are plentiful research schools and other
organizations.
BUT, I find the challenge rewarding not only for its
results, (like when I find things that work!) but also for the journey. I am
very academically inclined, and obtained a useless Bachelor’s degree in History
because I loved reading and researching so much, and preferred facts and
historical information to fiction or science. And I’m well-versed in using
technology, being raised in a techie family (my father was a software developer
for many years). I enjoy hunting down information at the library, on websites,
through word of mouth, and cross-referencing everything. I have more internet
bookmarks than I care to count, on every topic I can think of that might help
my kids function better, or enjoy life a little more, or give me a break from
it all.
Every day is a new adventure. I don’t know which child
will throw a tantrum about what, or if I’ll have a strategy up my sleeve to
deal with it. And new ones pop up all the time, as the children enter new life
stages (my oldest is now a tween, and acting much like a teenager with his
constant attitude and defiance, and my younger is smack in the middle of
terrible twos, despite being behind in a few areas).
Oh, one more thing. To top all this off, I’m a
Bipolar Mommy. While I do okay most days regulating my own emotions, and have
had 5 years of practice doing so, that’s still only 5 years, and as many with
Bipolar Disorder know, it’s always a work in progress to hold your own. So my
patience level fluctuates from day to day, and my emotions are tied
inextricably to my successes and failures at helping my kids thrive. My husband
is a trooper, I can tell you that much.
So bear with me as I "puzzle" through the conundrum that is raising my sweet boys to successful adulthood. And if I can share anything of value or enlighten you in anyway, or at least give you a laugh, awesome. If nothing else, this provides me an outlet, and a record of my failures and triumphs.
- Adrienne
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